Log in

No account? Create an account

Fic: Last Kiss


A/N: I haven’t been feeling too well. Not sure why. This idea has crossed my path several times and I thought I’d finally try and convey it into words.

This is dedicated to my partner in crime Lily_the_cheese. I love her lots and lots, she helps keep me sane.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Don’t own, if I did it’d be a mess. Also don’t own Pearl Jam’s song Last Kiss. Tweaked the lyrics to fit, yanno ‘She’s’ become ‘He’s’

Warnings: Character death…major. Um, yeah. I dunno. Maybe you’ll bust out the tissues? I hope not.


Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took him away from me
He's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

Jim’s hair was rustling in the breeze, the top down and a smile pulling at his lips. The sun was just setting, sinking low and giving way to the azure ocean.

Not like the azure in Jim’s eyes because nothing could compete with that color. Bones stopped staring at his beau and turned back to the road, reaching out for Jim’s hand, the metal of the engagement ring feeling right intertwined with his own hand.

He gave the soft flesh a squeeze and smirked at the cars zipping past them, getting stares because of the antique corvette.

Jim sunk into the seat and let out a slow, contented exhale. Bones had never seen his boy wonder so still, so at peace with himself. It seemed to match his own inner peace at this moment.

They finally had a shore leave to themselves- on Earth, no less- visiting their hometowns. The doctor was able to see his baby girl and Jim his mother and brother, both of them giving the emotional gift of a restored corvette, not the one he trashed, but so close McCoy observed the emotion building up in Jim’s eyes in the form of tears that were quickly brushed away.

Now they were in California, driving down the infamous Pacific Coast Highway and taking a scenic route aimlessly wandering and enjoying the freedom instead of strict, punched in coordinates.

We were out on a date in his daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far

Leonard allowed a soft smile to curve his full lips from the memory and hold Jim’s hand just a little bit more.

“Feels nice out,” Jim commented off handedly as he leaned closer to the driver’s seat and released a wispy yawn, eyes fluttering closed for a moment, purring like a cat.

Bones momentarily laid his head atop Jim’s turning quickly to kiss the top of his head before sitting up and swiping a hand over his face, eyes on the road.

“It’s dandy.” McCoy offered in a quiet tone, the corners of his eyes crinkling with his smile, and voice a deep rumble that was thunderstorms on a heated night.

“I wish I had more time to spend with you.” Jim added in a low tone, trying to keep his voice light but he couldn’t quite mask the sadness to it.

“We still got a week darlin’,” Leonard murmured back.

It was quiet again, but not uncomfortable. It was one of those silences where all the pieces fit and connected making this moment perfect and therefore not needing words.

They just passed a sign saying they were close to some town. Bones took a glance at the gas meter and figured they should stop and fill up, maybe grab a bite to eat. He had to take care of his fiancé.

“Why are you thinking so loud?” Jim asked with a chuckle. Bones shook his head with an eye roll.

“Was thinking about filling yer car up along with grabbin’ some food.”

“Ah.” Jim’s eyebrows raised before they fell back into position and he blinked a few times, stretching his lanky limbs with a groan. “I’d also like to get out and walk around someplace, maybe check out a stretch of this beach. Can you believe how long it is Bones?” he made a wide sweeping gesture with his hand, his bright blues childish. Again, nature lost the battle to the blue of Jim’s orbs, the stars reflected in them better than a smog infested sky.

“It’s…pretty amazing, Jim.” Another rare smile spreading onto the CMO’s face. Jim smiled back a bit brighter and looked towards the road. Lights in the distance twinkled as they got closer and buildings started to materialize out of thin air. The salt of the sea fading away as the smell of grease traps, and grilling food mixed with gasoline filled the boy’s noses.

Because replicated food didn’t come close to good old fashion cooking.

Bones searched around for a gas station, finally finding one. Nobody had gas anymore. Practically obsolete, but they were able to fill up Jim’s gas guzzling oldie, his pale fingers lightly trailing over the hood before he wrapped his arms around his beau as he pumped the gas gun, leaning back against Kirk. “Hey Stranger” he murmured.

Jim licked at McCoy’s ear as he leaned closer, a soft sigh escaping across the side of Leonard’s neck. “Can we just stay like this?” Jim asked head lulling to the doctor’s right shoulder and his hand rubbing his left flank. “Oh, I wish darlin’,” he answered, a hand coming up to scratch at the nape of Jim’s neck as the meter dinged and he tossed his credit wafer into the bucket.

Patting Jim’s arm and squeezing his hand he turned in his embrace and kissed him once sweetly, lips lingering as he brushed them against his captain’s in a shuddering breath. “Let’s go eat.” He offered. Squeezing Jim’s hand again and walking the couple of steps to get into the car as Jim skillfully jumped over the side into the passenger seat.

Bones shaking his head and chuckling, “show off,” Jim only grinned in return laying a big wet kiss on his cheek.



After their stomachs and the gas tank was full they headed back out onto the road. Jim’s eyes were drifting closed again, the top of the car secured in place as he rested his head towards Leonard’s own and curled up on the seat.

Bones blinked his tired eyes and pulled Jim closer with his arm around him and the other on the wheel. He kissed the top of his head as he looked back up, rubbing circles into Jim’s arm.

He spotted a hover car, sputtering and at a slight angle as the person drove, the car slowly coming to a halt before the person pressed abruptly on the brake.

There in the road, up straight ahead
A car was stalled, the engine was dead

Bones kept his eye on it and started to ease up as well when the brake stuck under his foot, “shit!” He cursed trying to get the car to go around the car blocking the road. The high pitched whine the car made not helping.


I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right


Jim jolted awake with a gasp and disoriented, he automatically wanted to hold Leonard but his senses caught on to the fact that something was wrong. He gave Bones both hands to maneuver the antique.

I'll never forget the sound that night


The tires screeched to a halt as Bones spun out and Jim grabbed onto him now, body hurtling forward, hand poised on the seatbelt to unclick it and curl himself around the doctor.

“JIM NO!” The airbag deployed to crash into them both, crushing Jim into Leonard, windshield cracking under the pressure and crashing against the Cliffside rather than the car that was ahead of them.


The screamin' tires, the bustin' glass

Jim squeezed Bones hand. His body crumpling automatically as his face contorted into one of so much pain, he cried out louder than the doctor had ever heard from any human. It was stuck on repeat, a scratch on the record that made it play over and over in his brain. Jim wrapping himself around Bones…shielding him.

The painful scream that I heard last.


His eyes were squeezed tight as he gripped Jim, trying to form words out but his throat tightening. All was black. His mind scrabbling around the edges trying to get a hold on something.


Why wasn’t Jim here? Why did he feel so alone? So utterly lost and alone. His chest felt like it would burst. He was twisting and turning and coming up empty. Where was the substance, and more importantly where the Fuck was Jim?

He tried calling out but his throat was so dry, closed up, a vice-like hold on it. Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes as he suffocated on words, trying to break free.

He needed to find Jim. Keep him safe too.

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took him away from me
He's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.


Leonard groaned, clutching at his head feeling the pitter patter of drops, splattering his face and clothes. He blinked and clutched Jim closer, hiding his face against the blonde’s neck, inhaling sharply.

He could already see the crowd from the hover car surrounding them. The doctor felt Jim’s chest heave rapidly. He pulled him up to look at him. The blonde coughed and once again Bones was speechless, cupping Jim’s blood splattered face, and kissing the side of it against his temple.

When I woke up, the rain was pourin' down
There were people standing all around

“Sunshine,” he croaked out. Jim let out a low sigh, face grimacing and twisting in pain before smoothing away. Bones looked down and saw the glass that shattered, chunks in Jim’s abdomen somehow. Probably when he twisted to cover Bones, blood seeping out of his civilian shirt that was shredded more than a box of wheat.

“J-Jimmy,” Bones tried again, gasping on air as Jim groaned quietly and only snuggled closer causing the doctor to bite back a cry. His eyes were already damp. He pulled Jim closer and rubbed his back as Jim coughed again, blinking his bright blues against the blood that had started caking on his face and the rain coming down from the now open top.


Something warm rollin' through my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night

“Hey,” Jim responded quietly, voice rasping as he coughed a bit again. “Your’e safe.” he added body slackening just a bit more in relief as his heartbeat pounded painfully slow and full in his chest. Swelling with emotions and pain he’d never felt before.

“You idiot. “ Bones choked out as his shoulders shook with a sob and tears fell down across his cheeks. He could tell by Jim’s labored breathing and feeling his pulse in his neck as he held his head to his chest that there wasn’t much time left.

His brain blocked this out. Jim had to stay, he needed him. “It should be me! I-I dammit Jim! Please, oh please d-don’t go. Don’t leave me. I need you. Need you so much darlin’. I can’t even-” He bit his lower lip and felt the hot tears leaking out despite him trying to hold it all in and be strong.

“It’ll be ‘kay Bones. You’ll be alrigh’ thas all tha…matters” he spoke softly voice just as lost and drained as the rest of him.


“What, babe?” He ran a and through Jim’s hair worrying at his lower lips as the blonde raised a shaky hand to wipe away the tears, ring gleaming in the moonlight and cold against the CMO’s cheek.

Leonard grasped his hand and kissed the palm as Jim rasped out his name and Bones hefted him closer.

 I lifted his head, he looked at me and said

"Hold me darlin’ just a little while." Jim asked quietly. With a smirk as he said the pet name that Bones had always called him to show he loved him through thick and thin.

Bones shook his head and pulled Jim closer, Jim was bleeding internally from the impact. But Bones had to be able to fix this. He was a doctor dammit! “Jim, no, I’ll save you. I have to. You have to be safe I promised to k-keep you safe.”

“Bones, shhhh, it’s alrigh jus- promise me you’ll live an take care of ery-body”

Bones nodded, although he wasn’t sure he could last much longer than Jim.

“Bones? C-can I- C’mere.”

Leonard leaned forward and automatically placed his lips against Jim’s soft and sweet the blonde trying to kiss back with more fervor. “one more” he breathed. Eyes pricking with tears, slipping down his pale, blood stained cheeks.

The doctor numbly nodded around the lump in his throat and kissed him again, putting everything he’d ever felt for this man in that one kiss.

All those sparks, the same as the first time. He held Jim close, feeling the tears fall freely, Jim trying so hard not to cry and be strong when it should have been the other way around.

Jim’s breath was short, Bones didn’t want to steal the life from his lungs, but Jim held him there by the back of his head, until he was spluttering. Bones pulled away to still see the fight, the life in Jim’s eyes. Anyone else would have been gone by now.

His lips still tingled from the kiss, a caress he’d never feel again.

I held him close, I kissed him our last kiss

 “I love you Leonard McCoy.” he whispered, his breath sounding wet as he coughed and blood started to seep past his lips.

“I love you so much James Tiberius Kirk.” he felt the feeble arms wrap around his neck.

I found the love that I knew I would miss

“I’ll be waiting for you.” Jim whispered, as the crimson fell down across his chin, Bones wiping it away although it was another never ending stream, his tears falling.

“Please, don’t go” McCoy whispered back

“Love you,” Jim answered back, his blue eyes drifting closed. “m gonna sleep now” he smiled as his fingers twirled Bones hair at the nape of his neck. And his last breath escaped his lungs.

Bones tugged him closer the full force of it hitting him.

Jim was gone. Never again would he wake up to those beautiful blues. He wish he could have told him everything. Why did Jim have to sacrifice himself for him?!

He hid his face against Jim’s neck as a painful sob was wrenched from his throat.

But now he's gone, even though I hold him tight

I lost my love, my life that night.



Everything after that was a blur. There were sirens and the bridge crew eventually showed up. Each face falling at the sight, upset in their own ways.

There were funeral plans to be made. And when the time came, they held a small ceremony on the ship before Jim’s death was revealed to the rest of the world.

Jim looked like he would wake at any moment as he lied still in his coffin. Bones hoping he would jump up and this was all some kind of cruel joke.

The ring was still on his finger and his blue eyes were shut. The doctor could barely speak at the podium, but this was for Jim and he had to soldier on. This ship needed him.

Afterwards he loosened his tie and found himself in their quarters, holding Jim’s pillow to his chest feeling lost like a small child.Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took him away from me

 What if everything else fell apart after this? Sure Jim told him to stay and take care of the crew, but he couldn’t live up to those expectations.

How could he be the same doctor if he couldn’t take care of Jim?

He couldn’t save him.

His eyes blurred as he reached into the bottom drawer of their dresser, the phaser glinting in the dim light of the room.

Bones bloodshot eyes blinked back more tears, the tired circle darker as he brought the gun to his temple. He closed his eyes and all he could see was Jim. His words resonating again, to take care of his ship and Bones promising that he would. How he said he would be waiting for him.

Someone was rapping on the door but Bones paid no mind. His finger was on the trigger ready to squeeze. It would be so damn easy.

The echoed words of Jim saying he loved him. He squeezed his eyes tighter as the door flew open, and his arm dropped to the floor.

He looked up to see the first officer-turned-captain. His eyes rimmed with green.

Slipping forward into the silent space of the room Bones fell against him. Tears spilling as he gave another painful cry.

“I made a promise,” he croaked out. Hoping Spock would understand.

The Vulcan gave a nod and allowed the man to grieve. “I made one as well.” He pulled the doctor closer as they rested against the bottom of the couch, the silence interrupted with a sob, tears sipping by,

“I miss him.” He added after a while.

“I know, but as you have said. You will see him again. Now is not the best time. The ship requires your services.”

Bones nodded as he clasped the wedding ring he was going to give Jim to go along with the engagement ring around his neck on a silver chain.

For now they’d grieve, later they’d get back to work. They had promises to keep.

He's gone to heaven, so I got to be good

So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

Oooh~ ooooh~





New fic: Baths are...logical

A fic for a friend of mine over on fanfiction.net
She gav eme a prompt and I filled it.

Prompt: Amanda survives Vulcan implosion and has a house on Earth. Spock is visiting and is taking a bubble bath one night and Amanda walks in, putting towels away and thinks nothing of it and Spock gets embarrassed and she's all "Spock, I’ve seen you naked!" and Spock's all "that was when I was a child, which I am clearly not now" then they end up having some philosophical conversation or she talks about how much she loves him and all that motherly stuff and he forgets he's naked in a bath tub

A/N: This is for Banbi-V on here and since I like her so much I’m totally pimping her out and highly suggesting you go read her stuffs. Also this is soooo out of my element, but I like a challenge, and if anyone else has something they’d like to see my write I’d be happy to give it a shot. Just PM me or some such or leave it in your review. Thank you and enjoy.
Disclaimer: Don't own sadly
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Nothing too crazy men kissing and Spock in a tub...

Spock had let class out early; Jim kept shooting him strange looks from his spot in the back next to his friend McCoy. Once everyone was out of sight he walked over, eyebrows knitted together, “Hey, you alright?” he asked.

They weren’t on great terms at the moment, but he was still concerned. He and Spock were arguing late last night, which lead to a tense lesson today. “I am ‘fine’. My mind just appears to be elsewhere.”

Jim gave a nod and hesitantly reached out before resting his hand on Spock’s shoulder. “Look, I’m sorry for being such a jerk. It just gets so frustrating sometimes…” His blue eyes met liquid browns before they were averted to the floor.

“How is that so?” Spock’s voice was devoid of all emotion, after his outburst yesterday evening he spent time meditating. He looked at the clock on the wall and back at Jim. He was about to speak, but he did not have time for this. He needed the comfort of his walls his logic, not this human that kept trying to break them down. It was infuriating... There was only one way that could truly calm him down.

He stopped Jim mid-babble, his blue eyes glittering with what appeared to be tears that were withheld.

“Jim we will have to continue this conversation at a later time, I must depart. I have an appointment to keep.”

Jim opened and closed his mouth a few times before he nodded and swallowed a bit roughly. “Yeah, sure” he answered numbly as he headed for the door. “You promise?” he asked, turning his back one final time, blonde hair mussed form him tugging at it.

“I-Yes, Jim. We will resume this conversation later this evening.” Jim nodded and gave a mock salute as he left the room.
Spock gave a soft huff before he could stop himself and was out the door with long-legged strides. He slipped into his quarters without too many questioning eyes and slipped into dark clothes and a heavy sweater before taking a shuttle to the one place he knew he could unwind and think.

He entered the Vulcan Embassy, giving a nod as he was greeted at the front desk before walking across the linear path to the housing units.

He easily found his, the biggest one located at the center before sliding a card and entering.

Amanda was humming as she tossed what appeared to be a salad at the kitchen counter, her ears picking up the front door opening. A small smile came to her face as her son slipped past. The Vulcan hybrid gave a quiet greeting before going straight to the bathroom.

The next sound that filled the room was running water. Amanda’s smile spread.

Wonder what did it this time? She wondered to herself as she shook her head at her very logical son and his plan of action.

Spock slipped out of the clothing he had put on not too long ago and turned the tap water hotter than a normal human would, grateful that he was able to.

He looked over and perched on the ledge was a curved bottle filled with bronze liquid, labeled that the scent was sandalwood.

Purely for therapeutic purposes Spock added two capfuls to the tub, inhaling rather deeply as the smell permeated the room.

Once the bath was brimming over with the soft foam of brassy bubbles, turning a champagne-y color from being diluted he slipped into the tub, sinking in and letting out a breath.

The displacement of the liquid caused a few bubbles to float away and pop. Spock was no longer a small child, but he was very tempted to blow bubbles into the water like his mother had shown him more than once when he was younger.

Rather, he ducked his head under and soaked his head, coming back up with sleek black hair that was wet as an oil slick.

He cupped a handful of the tinted bubbles and breathing normally blew them out of his hand, watching as they flew away, a rather large one popping.

He scrubbed at his arms, relieving some of the tension and eased back under again, holding his breath for a minute or so-longer than most humans- eyes opening under the soapy water, not bothering him from the second film he had protecting his alien orbs. He watched as the breath he released came up to the surface, making a short passage of air, bubbles varying in size and shape.

He didn’t want to close his eyes.

When he did all he could see was blue and blonde before it morphed into the sunshine rays that composed Jim.

His T’hy’la.

He knew this, but did not understand it.

Spock could barely tolerate Jim, but he knew somewhere that he felt something for him.

Which he honestly feared.

This was illogical.

Fear was an emotion and him being a Vulcan…who was he kidding?

He let out another soft breath and began to shampoo his hair before scrubbing it out into the already sudsy water, the sandalwood filling his senses…reminding him of Jim.

If he was one for cursing he would have done so, but he kept such thoughts out of his head.

With his pointed ears, he heard his mother’s movements, listening in as she made dinner and moved to the Laundry room, enjoying doing it herself, rather than having someone from the facilities picking it up for her.

After she had the towels folded she walked into the bathroom as Spock was doing a very human thing and running a hand through his hair, stress evident in his tense muscles.

She opened the door and Spock’s brown eyes widened slightly.

“Mother!” he exclaimed, shutting his mouth instantly afterwards.

“What is it Spock?” She asked a bit worried, jumping slightly herself.

“Clearly I am bathing.” He answered crossing his arms, hands covering his nether regions. His green flush from the hot water was accompanied by the rush of blood from embarrassment.

“Oh hunny, please. I’ve given you baths since you were a baby, there’s nothing to hide.” she answered, trying to hold back a chuckle and swishing a hand through the air, the other on her hip.

A few bubbles were in his hair, they popped on his head as he ducked back under the water before sitting up again. She put the toilet seat cover down and sat on the edge smiling sweetly at her son.

“Spock,” she said softly, a hand reaching out touch his shoulder.

He tensed under it. “My dear,” she tilted her head and pursed her lips, waiting for her son to respond.

He looked up at her, “I am no longer a child.” he said looking at his bubble covered lap, watching as they popped, moving his hand through the water.

“Well, you’re my son. It doesn’t bug me if you’re naked as a jay bird.” She giggled behind her hand. “In fact, at one point in time clothing to you seemed like a no less sound logic than emotions”

“Mother.” he ducked his head under the water, coming up dripping wet.

“What? It was adorable, imagine all those holo-vids I got…” she trailed off as her son gave her a “please spare me,” look with his brows.

She consented with a nod, “Anyways, how was teaching today? You seem…”

“I appear to be in what sort of state mother?” He asked, forgetting that he was in a hot bathtub talking to his mom.

“I don’t know hun, tense. You seem really tense.” That’s why you headed straight to the tub she added in her mind.

His wet hands came into a steeple resting them on his raised knees and his chin on his hands. “Are my…emotions that obvious?”

“Just to me sweetheart. I just know what to look for.”


“Right, so…would you like to tell me what’s going on?”

“I am having trouble trying to find words.”

“Well, just start talking, maybe I can help.”
“There is a student…he perplexes me.”

She gave a sigh and bit at her lower lip. “Is this about Jim?”

“He is somewhat-”he stopped raising a brow. “Yes,” he answered.

“He’s quite the character.”

“I was unaware he is an actor,”

She shook her head. “No hunny, I just mean he’s…colorful, different. Must be hard to understand, but I know that you two are…courting.”

He gave her another slightly wide-eyed look.

“I’m not totally in the dark on this stuff. A mother knows, Spock. Plus I know he wishes for your attention.”

“Yet he does no understand that I cannot provide for him what he wishes.”

“Why? Because of your heritage?”

“That is precisely why.” It was silent for a moment before he started to speak again.

“I do not understand his logic. He is not Vulcan yet I…” He tightened his steepled hands, placing them into controlled, loose fists and letting out a slow breath.

“Spock, you understand me. Do you not?”

“Of course mother.” He blinked up at her from the spot he was staring at.

“Well, I think I’m not the most logical person. Jim is human also. He just might be a bit more spontaneous and emotional.”

He was staring at the same brown eyes he inherited.

“Your father loves me, he may deny it, but I know it’s true.”

“Mother I did not mean-”

“Listen,” She whispered, grasping his chin.

“You take after your father in many ways, not saying that dating Jim is a lot like him, but this relationship will take work, if you’re willing.”

“It is not that I do not have the will,”

“What is it?”

“I do not like who I become around him”


“Yes, I am different.”

It was quiet again, with the exception of the soft slosh of water, towels forgotten on the counter from where Amanda was putting them away. She sat on the floor next to the tub, dressing fanning out around her petite legs, and rested her head in her hand on an Indian style knee. “Tell me more.” She offered quietly. “How so?”

Spock let out a breath and looked at her again. “He makes me want to feel. This in itself is rather disturbing. He makes one move and I orient myself to him. He has me bound mother, as if I need to keep walls in place to have a mind of my own, to have peace, logic. Jim is utter chaos. He is destroying me.”

She grimaced slightly, “Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh?” Her tone was still soft and sweet, gazing upon her son with the utmost care.

“There is no other way to describe it. His wishes are to understand me so he can gain my affections. It is my sound choice to shut him out. Even though he is my-” He stopped himself and stared at his finger tips, running them across the top of the water.

“Is it because he’s a man?”

“That is illogical. Gender is not the issue. It is because he is…James Tiberius Kirk. I am drawn to him.”

“Yet you continue to push him away.” His mother added thoughtfully, a hand coming up, fingers tapping her chin. “Spock, understand this from his perspective…from my own perspective as a human marrying a Vulcan.”

Spock inclined his head in a nod, giving his mother confirmation she had the floor to speak.

“He wants you to know that he cares for you deeply. This is hard when you only reciprocate once you’re out of the public eye, and do not deny that you don’t, because I know these things.” Spock’s face flushed a bit greener as she continued, “Now, his emotions are strong because that’s his make-up. Have the two of you ever sat down and talked this out? I think deep down he just wants your acceptance, and affection. He needs care and love. Are you unable to provide this, or just scared to? Scared you’ll lose, almost like it’s giving in if you indulge the boy. Giving into the part of me, that has become a part of you.” She reached out placing her hand over his chest cavity and sliding it to his side where his heart resided her other hand on her own, before puling away and awaiting an answer.

Spock had to think on this for a moment, leaning back against the cool tile and letting his mind wander until he came to a conclusion of more questions for his mother. “Is it wrong to deny that part of me?” he offered to the quiet air.

“That’s up to you hunny. It’s not a question that can be answered tonight. It needs to be discovered with time.”

“What about yourself?”

His mother tried to imitate him and lifted a brow. Spock’s lips involuntarily quirked at the corners, “Elaborate?” she asked, furthering the image of Spock.

He gave a slight inclination of his head, drawing his knees to his chest and resting his chin on his knees the soft slosh of water and a quiet exhalation before he spoke. “You are human, but adopted the ways of Vulcan to the best of your abilities, is that denying a part of you?”

She shook her head with a smirk of her own that matched her son’s. “I have enough space for everything right here.” she answered with a hand over her heart again. “Spock, I can be human and still adopt the ways of a Vulcan. It’s for you to deicide if that’s what you want, and I will love you no matter what you choose.”

“What about whom I choose?”

“Spock, if you’re wondering if I’ll love you less because of your interactions with Jim you are quite mistaken.”

“Irrational, but I can not deny these questions. I am always somewhat… uncertain,” He did not want to admit this, jaw tightening slightly around the word, “but this is natural, not for a Vulcan, but for a human.”

“Yes, uncertainty of the unknown, but I think that’s for anyone of any race, Vulcans are just good at bluffing and have a better poker face about it than others.” She answered, giggling a bit at the end, covering a hand over her expressive mouth.

She stood up, with a soft groan, stretching before shaking out a fresh warm towel from he counter, “better get out before you shrivel up like a prune.” she smiled as her son stood and took the offered towel, draining the tub and wrapping the fresh, warm clot around him in one fluid motion, reminding Amanda again, that her son was special.

Spock wanted to say something about how that statement was ridiculous, but decided to hold his tongue.

“How about dinner?” Amanda offered, rubbing his back through the blue terry cloth and stepping out to allow her son to dress. He came out of the bathroom, fully clothed and accompanied his mother to the kitchen, to help her finish with dinner preparations before they sat down and ate, discussing future plans and how each other’s day went.


Spock returned later that evening to his quarters and paused at his door before turning himself around to the student’s dorms on the other side of campus.

He knocked after a millisecond of hesitation and waited for the door to slide open.

Jim answered the door, clad in his loose sweats and a tight, white t-shirt, hair mussed and eyes starting to bruise underneath from lack of sleep.

“Oh- hey Spock.”

“Evening, Jim.”

Kirk swiped a hand over his face, and bright blue eyes, skin pale against the onset of the azure color. He stepped aside and waved a hand, gesturing for Spock to enter.

“Sorry, uh-was there something you wanted to…discuss?” Jim cringed and sat down on his bed, hands folded between his legs and looking at a very interesting piece of carpet rather than meeting, the dark brown eyes of his Vulcan companion.

“I wish to discuss our relationship.” Spock answered coolly. Jim looked up this time, blue eyes already anticipating the worst and shining with hurt.

“Damn,” he cursed, “not even a second chance.” he muttered under his breath.

“I beg your pardon?” Spock lifted a brow, hands folded behind his back as he stepped closer to Jim.

The blonde shot up and shook his head, tugging at his messy bed hair. “I just knew this wouldn’t last. Things with me never do, and I didn’t even try to end it this time, or fuck it up on purpose.”

Spock stopped Jim’s pacing, grabbing the tops of the male’s forearms and leveling his gaze with Jim’s. “I came here to apologize for my actions yesterday, not to terminate our courting.” he answered in a soft, controlled voice.

“But I-”

“Jim,” his hand traced up the side of his face, cupping Jim’s cheek, causing him to flinch, but sigh and lean into it.

“ I just don’t know what you want from me Spock.” he whispered, grabbing Spock’s hand and kissing the palm, causing the Vulcan to shiver, Jim’s fingers wrapped around Spock’s own.

“I spoke with my mother,” that was not what he intended to say, but it was part of it.

“Oh?” Jim’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ shape and a brow lifted, but not nearly as high as his Vulcan counterparts‘.

“She aided me in finding some solutions and answers that have been out of my reach. What we have will take time and more effort on my part. I truly am sorry for pushing you away. It is difficult for myself to engage in this form of a relationship. The feelings that accompany it are new,”

Jim gave a slight chuckle and shook his head, “I thought Vulcans weren’t supposed to feel.”

Spock gave a slight lip quirk, “you have much to learn, Jim.” he answered softly.

Jim smiled brilliantly back at him. “Well, I forgive you.” He pulled Spock in for a hug, and the Vulcan allowed it, he wouldn’t have budged otherwise. ‘I just ask that you have patience with me and I will allow the same for you, ashal-veh”

Jim smirked and pulled Spock closer, enveloping him in his cool arms and hiding his face against the side of his neck. “Stay?” he breathed, kissing the pale column of Spock’s throat.

“Yes,” Spock answered firmly, his hand coming up to smooth out the wrinkles in the cadet’s shirt.

He could feel the tension burning and built up under Jim’s skin, his body wracked with very small quivers that only he could detect.

“Would you oppose the idea of a bath?”

Jim smiled softly and nodded, “I would not Mr. Spock. Would you be joining me in such an activity?”

“I would not be adverse to the idea cadet Kirk.” With a small lip twitch as a confirmation Jim grabbed his hand and lead them to the bathroom, allowing the door to slide shut behind them before laying a full kiss to Spock’s lips.

Spock could get used to this.


I'm new to using this but kinda' sorta' know how it works and whatnot. I'm going to be mainly using this for fiction and being able to keep track of my favorite authors.  I'm also PsychoticBB on deviantart and Alphabetface on Fanficiton.net.
Finals are over after tomorrow morning so I'll have the whole summer to write and draw. Can't wait to start posting some fics and whatnot. ;D

Cheers to happy times and fun writing!



Dorothy, Oz, Pinup

Latest Month

June 2010


RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by chasethestars